


Speechless

by valisi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Inspired by Fanfiction, M/M, Mute Erwin Smith, Post-World War II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 19:27:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7814212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valisi/pseuds/valisi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“All of these years, I've been telling you to shut up, and now you can't even say my name," Levi muttered.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Speechless

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1364281) by [Cherry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry). 



> This piece was inspired by Cherry's "Again". It's such an excellent series, and I admire their writing so much. Definitely, give it a read if you haven't. After I finished reading "Again", there was a scenario that I wanted to see happen. So I've tried to create that here. My writing style isn't nearly as good as Cherry's, but I've tried my best to give life to this fantasy.

_New York, United States, 1947_

 

When Louis heard a knock on his office door, he grit his teeth together. Then he remembered what the dentist had said, and he tried to relax his mouth. He surfaced from his paperwork and sat back in his chair. 

“Yes!” he snapped with annoyance. Louis took a cigarette from the tin on his desk. He lit the cigarette, and decided if he was going to be interrupted then he could take a proper break. The old foreman walked sheepishly into Louis' office. 

“Mr. Ainsworth,” the man closed the door behind him. “I'm sorry to disturb you.” 

“Then make it quick,” Louis exhaled the smoke from his lungs. 

“Yes, sir,” the foreman said. “You see, there's a man who has applied recently. I know that you said that we are hiring each and every veteran that applies-” 

“Without exceptions,” Louis said quickly. 

“Yes, sir,” the foreman said even more uncertainly. “I really wish you would take a look at this veteran before I approve him though.” Louis' jaw tensed and he held out his hand. Of course, he already knew the answer was yes. However, James had been working for him for so long now. If he had an odd feeling about someone, it was typically correct.

“Let me see.” James stepped forward and handed the resume to his boss. Skeptically, Louis put his elbow on the arm of his chair and held his cigarette up while his eyes glossed over the page. Eli Solomon was the name at the top of the paper. There was a long silence as Louis read over the experience and qualifications trying to find the problem. He only took a single inhale of the cigarette while he read. It didn't include a service record, but most soldiers were very protective of that information. There had been cases of stolen service records being used to gain employment. “I don't see a problem.” 

“He's mute, sir,” James said. “He won't be able to communicate with the rest of the workers.” Louis frowned up at the foreman. 

“Half the time the work is so noisy they use hand signals anyway,” Louis snapped. "You're going to deny a man a job for something he can easily work around?" 

“He has a bad arm, sir,” James insisted. 

“From the war?” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“He has the required experience though.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then why the hell are you bringing this to me, James? You already know the answer!” James breathed out heavily. 

“Something about him is odd, sir,” James said. Louis tilted his head and looked back at the resume. 

“You've already seen him then.” 

“When he turned in his resume, sir.” Louis shook his head with disbelief. While he trusted his foreman's judge of character, he still didn't understand why James seemed so uncomfortable. 

“He had his record of service with him? You saw it?” 

“Yes, sir.” There was a pause from Louis, and James felt hot under his collar. 

“I'm not going to deny a soldier a job, James,” Louis handed the paper back to the foreman. “Give him a chance. Give him hard work. If he crumbles under the weight, then it's not our fault.” James took the paper carefully from his boss. 

“Yes, sir,” James said. He had every intention of doing that very thing. Eli Solomon was going straight to the basement.

******

Three months into his new job, Eli sat up in bed quickly when his alarm clock went off. He hit the alarm clock too hard when he turned it off and it fell to the floor. A coughing fit doubled him over, and he grabbed the glass of water from the nightstand. He took a good, long drink. His sinuses had been congested, and when they drained it irritated his damaged vocal cords. A quick look around his own room apartment brought a smile to his face. It was tiny, the walls were paper thin, but it felt safe. Four years of scraping and clawing his way through life had led him here.

Eli stood from bed and went to the tiny bathroom for a hot shower. The steam helped relieve his sinuses, and he could breathe easily again. 

When Eli stepped out of the bathroom, he glanced at the clock. He had spent too much time in the shower. Eli rushed to the refrigerator and took the coffee out that he had prepared the night before and the eggs. He drank his cold coffee while he scrambled some eggs for a quick breakfast. The cold drink felt good to his throat. While he missed hot coffee, sometimes it could make his throat hurt. Cool drinks were much better. Quickly, Eli ate and then prepared his lunch. 

By the time he was ready for work, Eli was running out the door to catch the bus. He only just made it. 

That morning of work was hard, but Eli forced his way through it. Nothing compared to his first week of work. The mill was huge, and Eli had gotten lost multiple times. Then, even though he had mechanic experience, the large scale of the machines intimidated him. Because he was mute, most of the workers also thought he was a bit stupid. So when he did something incorrectly, they were quick to help him right the situation. That had been helpful even though it was demeaning. There was a type of sign language the workers used among themselves in noisiest parts of the mill, and Eli had deciphered that quickly. 

Despite his injured right arm being weaker than the left, he was able to keep up with most of the work. Occasionally, he needed help to lift the some of the heavy things, but the men were always willing. While he couldn't speak, Eli knew that a warm smile and a nod did more for most people than words. It seemed like he was already a favorite employee in the mill. Initially, Eli thought people were being kind to him out of pity. Then another worker mentioned that he liked that Eli didn't complain. He couldn't of course, and the man had laughed when Eli smiled at the comment. As long as he kept smiling, everyone would believe he was a good person, and he was definitely a hard worker.

Eli actually really enjoyed being a mechanic. The smell of grease and the loud machines didn't bother him at all. Sweating the day away was the way he wanted to spend his time. It certainly kept his mind off the war. 

When the lunch bell rang, Eli did not immediately stop working on the motor in front of him. 

“Eli!” Eli looked up and smiled at Christopher. “I thought you were mute, not deaf! It's lunch time, man!” Eli nodded and looked back down at his work. One more turn of the bolt, and he was satisfied with that stopping point. 

Dropping the wrench, Eli pulled the grease rag from his back pocket and wiped his hands. Christopher waited on him and they walked to the lunch together. On their way up the stairs from the basement, Christopher rattled on about his wife and how he was praying that she wasn't pregnant again. Three children were a lot to feed apparently. Eli wouldn't know. A memory of his wife's smiling face surfaced, and Eli struggled to forget it. 

Once they were on the top platform, Eli followed Christopher closely as they exited the basement and was glad for the fresh air. The ground level had large doors that stayed open all the time for the autumn season. It would be too cold for a stationary person, but the men were only supposed to be stationary when they ate and smoked. Anyone can stay warm if they move around enough. The chill in the air was nothing compared to the harsh winters and heavy snow that Eli knew. 

They followed the rest of the basement workers to the area where their lockers were. Eli was looking forward to his sandwich that he had made for himself. It may not have had everything he wanted on it, but he was starving. Eli was looking forward to going grocery shopping that weekend after he was paid. While they were walking down the big hallway, Christopher stopped speaking suddenly. 

“Hey,” Christopher's voice was quiet then. “The big boss. Shit- I mean.” Christopher paused. “The man who is in charge of this mill is headed this way. He's short. Don't stare.” Eli's brow furrowed while he watched Christopher stumble over the words. When Eli turned back to look where he was walking, he saw the boss then. A short, older man in a suit with a sour look on his face was walking quickly down the hall. 

They made eye contact. 

The familiarity hit them both so hard at first. Of course, this had not been the first time they had met like this. They took it in stride. Erwin and Levi maintained eye contact, but did not respond with surprise. Not now. Erwin swallowed so hard that it hurt a little. Levi's eyes quickly dropped to the ugly scar on Erwin's neck and back up to his eyes. There was no emotion on his face, and Erwin was so thankful. 

“Stop staring,” Christopher chided under his breath. But they were both staring. At each other. And when then they finally passed each other in the hallway the tension between them was fierce. Once Levi had fully passed him in the hallway, devastation set into Erwin's heart. Erwin was so thankful that there was a bathroom stop between where he was and the lockers. 

“Are you fucking trying to get fired?” Christopher snapped at him once Levi was out of earshot. Erwin smiled his best smile and shrugged as if he didn't know any better. Christopher shook his head in disgust.

After motioning to Christopher that he would catch up, Erwin almost fell when he rushed through the door to the bathroom. Quickly, he moved to a stall and locked the door behind him. He sat on the toilet and put his head in his shaking hands. 

_“Not this one,”_ Erwin prayed for the first time in any of his lives. _“Please, not this life.”_ But it was already done. Levi knew that he was here. Erwin hid his eyes behind his greased hands and pleaded with the universe to put him anywhere else. Let him be with Levi in any other life than this one. 

When Erwin felt like he could lift his head again, he stood from the toilet and knew that he would have to do this. It would alright. He disappeared once. It wouldn't be so hard to do it again. Levi would never have to know. 

Then, Erwin left the stall and washed his hands. There was some grease under his eyes where he had touched his face, and he washed that away too. A quick look in the mirror, and his eyes dropped to the scar on his neck. In that moment, despite all of the pain and suffering he had gone through to get to there, he was so grateful that there wasn't enough of his voice left to be functional. It was such a blessing. And now he knew that Levi was in this life too. This couldn't be his last life with Levi. There had to be a better one. 

Erwin nodded at himself in the mirror with determination and moved away from the sink. He would have to eat quickly, but there was still plenty of time before he had to go back to work.

******

When the bell rang for the shift change and the end of Erwin's work day, he sighed and wiped his wet forehead with his arm. Once all of his tools were put away, he went through his regular tasks that he had to finish before he clocked out. Once all of the belts on the machine that he was assigned to were greased, that was it. He had made it through another day.

“Solomon!” The foreman called. Tiny hairs on the back of Erwin's neck stood up. He looked over to the voice. “Big boss wants to see you!” Erwin nodded but he couldn't hide his wide eyes. 

_“Damn it, Levi,”_ Erwin thought. When Erwin moved over to the foreman, the man clapped him on the shoulder and smiled. 

“Don't worry,” the foreman assured him. “The boss will normally talk to every veteran he hires. Some sick obsession with war, I think.” Erwin nodded as if he understood, but honestly he didn't. No one should want to discuss the war. They walked like that all the way to the elevator and then the foreman finally let go of Erwin's shoulder. Erwin was glad that the foreman didn't plan to physically escort him the whole way. There had been a severe temptation to push the man off and run away.

They rode the elevator up to the top floor and Erwin followed the foreman closely to an office. That part of the building was so quiet that Erwin felt even more unsettled. Once the foreman stopped in front of an office door, he held his hand up motioning for Erwin to stop and wait. Quickly, he knocked three times and waited. 

“Come in,” Levi said. The foreman opened the door with a smile and stepped inside. Erwin followed and closed the door behind him. He lingered against the door when it closed behind him. 

“Here you are, Mr. Ainsworth,” James said. “Solomon is here.” 

“You're excused, James,” Levi said quietly. 

“Sir?” 

“I interrupted your clock out tasks right? I'm sure Solomon can find his way back home from here,” Levi snapped. 

“Oh! Yes, sir!” James said with a smile. “See you tomorrow, Solomon.” Erwin had to move for the foreman to leave. Then once the foreman closed the door, Erwin knew he was supposed to go to Levi. He couldn't. Being close to the door was the only thing that would ease Erwin's anxiety.

“Do you remember me, Erwin?” They had always remembered in the other lives, but this one was different. Erwin had never been robbed of his voice before. Erwin's skin was crawling now. There was such a desperate need for him to go to Levi, and he had to resist every bit of it. This couldn't happen. 

He nodded anyway. 

At the first hint of the nod, Levi stood from his chair and hopped over the desk. He ran to Erwin and jumped up to wrap his arms around the tall man's shoulders. Unable to help himself, Erwin wrapped his arms around Levi and fell back against the door from Levi's momentum. Erwin's chest rose and fell heavily with relieved breaths. It felt like he had been holding his breath for his entire life until Levi touched him again. 

“I fucking missed you,” Levi breathed into his ear. Erwin wrapped both arms around Levi as tightly as he could. The left arm threatened to break him in half, but the right arm was gentle and weak. Levi leaned back in Erwin's arms to look him in the eye. Levi's eyes traveled Erwin's face and then glanced to the scar on his throat. “That's never happened before.” Erwin nodded and some of his blonde locks fell over his forehead. For only a moment, Erwin saw that Levi's eyes had softened in disappointment. 

“Lock the door,” Levi said. It only took a second for Erwin to reach behind him and lock the doorknob.

Then Erwin's lips crushed Levi's. There was gnashing of teeth and slick tongues dancing against each other. Levi bit Erwin's bottom lip. That's when Erwin felt something that he had not felt in a long time. His cock was swelling. A quiet groan raised in Erwin's chest, and he met Levi's kiss with more passion. No one kissed like Levi. All of the reservations Erwin had earlier melted away under Levi's heat, and he ran his hand into the soft black hair. A single tug brought a gasp from Levi's mouth. Their lips were now red and swollen from biting and kissing. That's when Levi broke the kiss and leaned back to look into Erwin's eyes, searching for something. 

“All of these years, I've been telling you to shut up, and now you can't even say my name,” Levi muttered. An aching pain shot through Erwin's chest and his facial expression showed it. Levi regretted saying that. He shouldn't have mentioned it. “I'm so sorry.” Erwin nodded and he closed his eyes tightly. 

_“Me too,”_ Erwin thought. Slowly, Levi slipped from his arms, and Erwin opened his eyes when he heard Levi's shoes tap the floor. When blue met gray again, they both smiled wearily. There had been times that their lives were so wonderful. This was not one of those lives. 

“Let's meet tonight.” Erwin nodded emphatically. Levi pulled away and went to his desk. He wrote down an address, time and room number. Then he folded the paper and turned back to Erwin. In the time that Levi had taken to write the information, Erwin had walked up behind him. He leaned down and kissed Levi quickly. Levi handed him the paper. When Erwin opened it, he nodded and pocketed the paper. Erwin pulled Levi tightly to him again. Their lips met again, and Erwin didn't allow Levi to pull away this time. He wanted to lose control.

At first, Levi was willing. Then, Erwin had pushed Levi up onto his desk and pulled away only for a moment to pull his shirt off. Erwin's shirt fell to the floor, and he was on Levi again. The paperwork under Levi was disturbed, and he broke the kiss when he heard the crumpling. 

“Wait,” Levi smiled and held up a hand. Erwin's eyes were already hungry and Levi had to push him back. “Tonight.” Erwin nodded again and licked his lips. There was something foreign in his eyes that Levi didn't recognize. It was the war, Levi knew that much. Erwin's eyes were more violent and wild than ever. It looked to Levi like Erwin thought they were running out of time, like he was kissing him as if they would never see each other again. That war had not even been comparable to their fights with the Titans, and it had obviously affected Erwin deeply. He pulled away from Levi. 

Quickly, Erwin picked up his shirt and put it back on before he almost ran out of the door. He would have run, but when he went to turn the doorknob it only jerked in his hand. So he had to take the time to unlock it and then leave. Levi shook his head. The display of uncertainty was odd. In this life, Erwin seemed so different. Clumsy with excitement, Levi guessed. But then he thought back to that unfamiliar look in Erwin's eyes. It was something else. How many more times could they do this before their original selves were shadows?

******

That night, Erwin stood in front of the hotel room door. It was on one of the upper floors, and the room rates were expensive. So Levi had quite a bit of money in this life he figured.

He had been standing in front of that door for half an hour holding the letter in his hands. All he had to do was slide it under the door and walk away. That's all he had to do.

_“Just do it,”_ Erwin thought. And he couldn't. Erwin folded the letter and put it in his pocket. He rubbed his forehead in frustration. _“Just one more time. I'll look at him and hand him the letter and walk away. I just want to see him one more time.”_

Erwin looked down at the outfit he had chosen: a black button down shirt with navy blue slacks and his best shoes. The letter in his pocket felt heavy even though it was single page. One more glance at his watch, and he knocked on the door. 

A knock rapped against the door, and Levi dropped the pen he was using to anxiously doodle on the notepad he brought with him. Levi looked over at the clock on the nightstand. Right on time. He stood from the chair and walked across the room to the door to open it for Erwin. 

A breath caught in Erwin's chest when he looked at Levi. Earlier, when Levi was in a suit, he looked foreign. Now he was in a button down gray shirt, black slacks and sock feet. Those clothes looked so familiar. If Levi had only had his undercut, then he would've looked exactly the same as he had in their first life. 

_“I need a drink. We'll just have one drink,”_ Erwin thought. It was a lie and he knew it. 

When Erwin walked into the room, he was a bit surprised to see Levi had kept all of the lights off. The curtains were pulled back to let in the ambient light of outside, and he could see the large bed against the right wall. Before he knew it, Levi had pulled him down by the shirt for another kiss. Gratefully, Erwin returned it. They had more control over themselves this time. Time felt like it had slowed down now they were in the dark room together. 

But Erwin had to focus. He broke the kiss suddenly, and Levi furrowed his brow. That's when Erwin pulled away and moved over to a lamp on the nightstand. 

“What the hell are you doing?” Levi asked. He was frustrated, sexually and otherwise. 

_“You need to know,”_ Erwin thought. When Erwin turned on the lamp, Levi squinted against the intrusion of light. Erwin's shadow gave his eyes some relief when he stepped in front of the lamp and walked back to Levi. 

There was a letter in his hand, and he was holding it out for Levi to take. Levi looked up at Erwin's face. It was the face of his Commander once more. That stern look felt so forceful in all of its grace. Levi took the letter. 

“You can't talk filthy to me so you have to write a love letter?” Levi looked up for a response. Erwin shook his head. The firm look had gone now that Levi had accepted the letter. Then Erwin crossed the room and sat in the chair opposite of where Levi had been sitting. When he sat down, he waved at Levi to join him. 

Levi was opening the envelope and walking over to Erwin to sit in his lap. Once Erwin realized what Levi was about to do, he held up a hand and pointed to the chair across from him. It frustrated Levi so much for Erwin to communicate that way. 

“It's not a love letter then,” Levi said. One side of Erwin's mouth twitched with irritation. The look Erwin gave Levi was harsh. 

_“Get it over with already,”_ Erwin thought.

“So it's that kind of letter,” Levi grumbled. “Let's have a drink then.” Levi walked to the dry bar and poured two glasses of whiskey that he had brought from home. While this hotel was always clean and the staff were discreet, their alcohol choices were shit. So he always brought his own. 

He brought two half full glasses back to their seats and handed Erwin his drink. With a nod of thanks, Erwin took his the glass and settled back in his chair. Anticipation was giving Levi a jittery feeling in his stomach. That's when Levi took his seat and unfolded the paper. Gorgeous handwriting reminded Levi that Erwin did, in fact, still have use of his right arm in this life. 

_Darling Levi,_

_This is the fifth time I've started this letter. No amount of gentle language can prepare you for what you're about to read. There is nothing that can prepare me to watch your face  while you read these words._

_I so wish that I could speak with you. I wish that you could hear the tone in my voice when I share this information with you, but that can't be helped. While I considered hiding  this from you, I just can't. I can't be dishonest with you because that would cause me even more shame than I already have. I wish we had never met in this life, Levi. Hate me for it._

_My given name in this life was Erick Schäfer._

_I deserted the German Army in 1943. I made that decision was made while I was laying in a hospital bed after the German medics had saved my life. They didn't expect me to survive, but shrapnel is a strange beast. The right side of my vocal cords are paralyzed, but my major arteries were spared. My arm was riddled with molten lead. My voice would never function properly again, and I was afraid of what the Army would do with me. I wasn't strong enough to hold weapons for long periods of time anymore. Any kind of discharge was not an option. I had participated in too many special operations, and I was in a prime position to sell information to other countries in exchange for sanctuary. An officer checked on me every single day while I was in the hospital, and as soon as I was able, I ran._

_I fled. I abandoned my wife, and I'm sure that she was tortured and executed during their search for me. I've stolen money, property and taken lives to get to this side of the ocean. There are things that I have done in this life that have caused me true shame, and I don't know why I've allowed it to go on this long._

_Now that you know this, I'm asking that you please let me go. Let's meet in another life._

_There has to be another one._

_I love you, Levi, but I can love you better in the next life._

   _\--Erwin Smith_

 

“Shit,” Levi muttered to himself. His gray eyes raised to Erwin. The blue gaze on him that was normally powerful and fiery was weak and Erwin's skin was very pale. He looked like a ghost. That was when Erwin finally took a drink of his whiskey before setting the glass down. Levi looked back down to the letter. 

Levi put the letter down on the table and took a big swallow from the glass that he was holding so tightly. There was pain in his white knuckles and he relaxed a bit. Levi put his glass of whiskey on the table next to the letter. 

Erwin stood from his chair and made a move as if he was about to leave. 

“Sit your ass down,” Levi demanded. Erwin looked down at Levi. It took a moment of them staring at each other like that before Erwin sat back down. He steeled himself against anything Levi wanted to say. 

“Let me ask you something,” Levi said quickly. “Ready?” 

Erwin nodded. 

“Do you regret deserting?” 

Erwin shook his head immediately. Even the guilt of abandoning an innocent woman to Nazi hands could not have stopped him from escaping. 

“Did you ever see one of the camps?” 

Another negative. 

“Do you miss your Fatherland?” 

No, of course not. 

“And you know why that is?” Erwin's brow furrowed and he jostled his shoulders. He didn't understand the question. “Those aren't your countrymen, Erwin. They never were. You aren't German. The Survey Corps is your nation. And you were King.” 

Erwin was blown away by those words. Levi didn't seem disgusted with him. Any other response would have satisfied Erwin. He expected anger and revulsion, but Levi was as calm as ever. It was unbearable.

“Would you have deserted us? Would you have fled the Titan war?” A familiar, righteous anger rose in Erwin's eyes, and his lips were thin. Levi took the pen and notepad from the table and handed it to him without prompting. Quickly, Erwin scrawled something out. He passed the notepad to Levi. 

_Don't ask ridiculous questions, Levi. Stay focused! I've contributed to a massive sin. Nothing I could have done in our first life compares to this._

“No,” Levi said. “You fled an awful situation that you had been forced into.” He passed the notepad back to Erwin. “Because you joined the military at a young age, right?” 

Erwin didn't know how Levi could guess all of that. But he nodded. 

“So when the war started,” Levi said. “Even if you didn't understand it, you had to participate. And then when you realized that you might die for something you didn't believe in, you left.” 

Erwin gritted his teeth and wrote some more on the notepad before passing it to Levi again. 

_Stop minimizing this. Recognize what I've done!_

Levi didn't pass the notepad back to him, but put it back on the table instead.

“I understand,” Levi said. “ I know that these wars cannot compare to the Titan War. But how many wars have we fought in that we don't remember, Erwin? What if we've both been German at the wrong time in history in another life? Is there any way to know for sure?” 

That, honestly, had not even occurred to Erwin. The anxiety of Levi hating him for the rest of eternity had completely blocked out his logical nature. 

“You were demonized in our first life, Erwin. I defended against it then. I'll defend against it now, even when you are doing it to yourself,” Levi was firm, unshakable. He took another sip from his drink before setting his glass on the table. The determination in Levi's eyes made Erwin's heart sink down into his stomach. He snatched the writing pad from the table to write something else. 

Levi came up out of his chair and knocked the writing pad out of Erwin's hand. Pages rustled with the impact and it fell to the floor. Spreading his legs, Levi straddled Erwin's lap. Erwin hadn't lifted his head. He was too angry to even look at Levi, and now he was denied the ability to communicate. When Levi curved a finger under Erwin's chin to lift his face, he was met with resistance. 

“Look at me,” Levi demanded quietly. That's when Erwin looked up at him. Familiar fire in those blue irises again. A grin spread over Levi's lips. “There you are again. Erwin Smith.” 

Erwin pulled his chin from Levi's finger, but maintained eye contact. His displeasure was obvious, and he wanted to push Levi away. He wanted to force Levi to face this. But his hands wouldn't raise against the man in his lap. The pen in Erwin's hand was digging painfully into his skin because he was squeezing it so tightly. It was surprising that it didn't break and gush ink. 

“I still want you,” Levi muttered. Then Levi's hands were on Erwin's neck. The scar on the right side of Erwin's neck was ragged and thick. It was a pale white against Erwin's neck that was red with his anger.

Erwin had told himself that Levi would do this. He knew it was coming, but he hadn't been prepared. The many times that Levi had caught him off guard had never prepared him to deny anything Levi wanted. Now with Levi in his lap, feeling the heat of that body, Erwin felt his willpower weakening. He closed his eyes as if that would protect him from Levi continuing. If he could just hold tightly to his frustration, maybe he could get Levi back on topic. As long as his hands remained fists, he could still turn this around and make Levi see reason.

Levi took advantage of Erwin's distraction. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Erwin's. To hold him in place, Levi reached around and grabbed a handful of those golden locks. At first, there was resistance, but when Levi tugged on Erwin's hair there was an audible grunt from Erwin's throat. It was hoarse and weak, but Levi had heard it. Once Levi parted Erwin's lips with his tongue, that's when he felt Erwin melt under him. The pen dropped to the floor, and Levi grinded against Erwin's lap. 

Erwin had tried his best, but the taste of Levi's mouth had intoxicated him. Both of Erwin's hands moved to rest on Levi's hips. Unable to resist, Erwin pulled Levi tight against him. He could feel Levi's erection through their pants, and his own cock was swelling now.

There was no one, not a single person he had ever met in so many lives, that could cut to his core like Levi. A hot and needy feeling gathered in Erwin's groin, and the crotch of his pants was too tight now. Dropping his hands, Levi began unbuttoning Erwin's shirt while his tongue still explored Erwin's mouth. Those little, nimble fingers working down his body had broken the last of Erwin's resolve. When Levi broke the kiss, a little whimper came from the back of Erwin's throat. It hurt to make just that little bit of noise, but he would have to get used to it. There was more coming. 

“If you had signed your letter with any other name than the name of your soul, then I would gladly send you to the next life myself,” Levi whispered to him. The final button came loose and Levi pulled Erwin's shirt tail out of his pants. “But I can't. Not when it's really you. Not my Commander.” Levi's hands ran over the fabric of Erwin's undershirt. The rippling muscle under the fabric made Levi's eyes light up. “You can't go again. Not tonight.” 

Erwin's mouth was watering, and he swallowed heavily. There was a question in his eyes, but Levi didn't want to take time to answer it. 

“I know,” Levi said. “I know it drives you crazy to not be able to speak to me.” 

Erwin nodded and winced.

“I miss your voice,” Levi leaned in and kissed along Erwin's strong jaw. With those innocent, little kisses, Erwin sighed and closed his eyes again. “I miss the way you would break me down with your words.” 

Levi reached down between then and pulled at Erwin's belt buckle. The belt came apart easily, and Levi smiled while he kissed down the damaged side of Erwin's neck. Leaning his head back to give in to Levi, Erwin licked his lips. Then, Levi released the button of Erwin's pants. Levi dragged his tongue from the base of Erwin's neck, along the scar and up to the strong jaw again. When Levi had pulled down Erwin's zipper, he felt Erwin's heat near his hands. It was so tempting. 

“But you are just as good without words, Erwin.” There was no way Erwin could deny Levi now. Nothing could stop this man from what he wanted. The five o'clock shadow along Erwin's jaw line tickled Levi's lips, and Erwin smelled so good. When a hint of Erwin's cologne wafted up to Levi, he inhaled it deeply. That's when Levi's hand slipped into Erwin's pants and gentle fingertips found his raging erection through the thin fabric of his underwear. The tender touch was enough to make Erwin shudder and gasp. 

“We'll talk all you want,” Levi promised, and he smiled when Erwin's shirt fell from his shoulders. “Just please.” Levi's hand slipped under the fabric of Erwin's underwear, and he wrapped his hand around Erwin's cock firmly. “Fuck me first.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> I'm a bit stuck on the direction of my "Vespers" series for now, and that's why I'm posting this instead. I have some ideas, but they're weak and need more time to develop. If you have a suggestion or request for a piece while I'm trying to sort out the "Vespers" series, please let me know.
> 
> I've recently created a [tumblr](http://valisi-clark.tumblr.com/) account, but I'm not posting my pieces over there. It's just handy to keep it touch with people. And look at dirty pictures.


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